


Fade Away Like Smoke

by cerisemoon



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Implied Axel/Roxas - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Smoking, This is just the one im focusing on, You just cant tell, axel has a lot of self destructive habits, roxas loves his friends, saïx is a bad friend but he is trying, uh im really sick of old fanon axel and thats what prompted this, xion is a smart cookie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-17 19:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11858568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cerisemoon/pseuds/cerisemoon
Summary: Axel's never been good for himself, and Roxas is tired of it





	Fade Away Like Smoke

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_Shy_One](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Shy_One/gifts).



> the only kh game ive ever played is 358/2 days so i probably haven't characterised them properly? but im halfway through re coded so i mean 
> 
> anyway this i blame on cheyenne

"You know,"

The scarlet sun set over Twilight Town, casting it's glow on the clocktower's face.

"Those are terrible for your health."

Roxas looked up, and his gaze landed on a familiar tatooed face. In his gloved hands, a lit cigarette smoked, held loosely between two fingers. "I guess you would know, wouldn't you?"

"Exactly." Axel grinned, and bent down, plucking the cigarette from Roxas' hands. He crushed the end in his palm, and flicked it over the edge. He looked back at Roxas, hand extended, an expectant look on his face. "The box." The blonde sighed, fishing it out of his coat pocket, and tossed it at his friend's face. Axel caught it before it could hit him, and laughed quietly. "Would you believe I was lookin' for these all damn day, only to have Demyx tell me you'd asked for a light."

"You dropped them."

"So you took 'em?"

"I hate them." He muttered, watching as Axel opened the box, and pulled one out, before pausing.

"You mind?"

"Only if I can." The redhead sighed, and shut the box.

"Didn't you just say you hated 'em? No way, kid." His leg shook, and he leant forwards on it. "Seriously, you know how unhealthy they are?"

"No, b-" Roxas felt his face fall into a scowl when Axel cut him off.

"You can get addicted, which has nasty withdrawal symptoms, they make you way more likely to gets tumors and crap, they damage your lungs," With each listed item, Axel lifted a finger, and Roxas' frown deepened. "It's bad for the people around you too, and they're expensive as hell. Saïx is always on my case about how I'm wastin' expenses." He scoffed, resting his chin on my knee. "Like I've got anything else to spend it on."

"So if they're so bad, why do you smoke them?"

"Hm?"

"How come you can have them, and I can't?"

Axel shook his head, a confused smile on his face. "Did you not listen to any of that?"

"Did you?" Roxas shifted, turning his body to properly face Axel's. "You can't lecture me about something unhealthy if you're just gonna do it yourself."

"...It's not legal for a kid to smoke."

"You don't know how old I am. I don't even know how old I am."

"I know you're not old enough to have these." Axel shot back, shaking the half empty pack in his hand. "An' I don't think you're understanding how bad these are, legal or not. They'll mess ya up, Rox." Before he could continue, Roxas leant over, and snatched them out of Axel's hand, face cross and frustrated. "Hey!"

"Do you even hear yourself!? I can't take them because they'll fuck me up but it's fine for you to get ruined?"

"Language."

"Don't change the subject!" They were both standing now, the arm that held the cigarettes extended over the edge of the tower's balcony, while Axel held his arms in front of him, as though pleading.

"Come on, Roxas, what does it matter?"

Roxas felt the anger bubble in his throat, before it burst out. "Because we're friends damn it! I've got it memorised, why don't you?"  
Axel's surprise was clear on his face, mingling with confusion. "Roxas..."

"Friends are supposed to look out for each other right? I don't wanna see you in a hospital bed! Neither would Xion!" The cigarettes had fallen from his grasp at some point, fallen down to the pavement far below the two, but he'd hardly noticed. "Why's that so hard for you to understand?" When he'd finished his tirade, he opened his eyes, red-faced and tight-fisted, to a completely unexpected sight.

Axel wore a look of utter bewilderment, and Roxas was almost certain he was shaking. "Pretty passionate for a guy without a hear-"

"Axel!"

He was definitely shaking now, and Roxas stepped towards him. Neither of them spoke for a while. Eventually though, Roxas tugged Axel's sleeve down, and they sat, inches apart.

"Why's it hard for you to believe that people care about you?"

"We're nobodies, Roxas. We can't care about anything."

"Who says that? Who says I can't care about you? Who says we don't can't have feelings without hearts?"

"Roxas..."

"Maybe I am just remembering the feeling of caring, or whatever you called it, but I'm remembering it because of you! How do you think I feel-

"You don't-"

"whenever I see you smoking? Doing all that horrible crap you tell me and Xion not to, because you have no regard for your own health!"

"Why should I?"

"Because I don't want you to die, dumbass!"

"I was over exaggerating, really it's not like it kills you right away."

"You're ridiculous! A child would understand this, how stupid are you?" Silence fell once again upon the two, Axel's eyes averted while Roxas' were fixed on his face, determined and angry, but fringed with concern.

"I guess," Axel began, eyes on the horizon. "I'm not used to it." He pulled his knee up, hugging it close to his chest. "Not anymore."

Roxas said nothing, and Axel took a moment to look back at him, before looking away again. "Been a nobody so long, guess I forgot what it was like to care. To have somebody care. Saïx barely talks to me, prick, and it's not like I like anybody here. I just got used to being empty I guess. Figured nobody'd care, so what would it matter if I got fucked up?" Axel somehow retreated further into himself, pulling at his sleeves. "Felt something, at least."

Roxas hummed, and leant against Axel's shoulder. "Thought you said I made you feel something." Axel smiled, leaning into his touch.

"Punk." They laughed quietly, watching the sun go down.

"Roxas."

"Yeah?"

"I can't...quit everything. Not right away. But I can try."

"Good."

"Hey, if it gets Saïx off my back." Roxas rolled his eyes, giving Axel a shove.

"Come on, be serious."

Axel snickered, his laugh trailing off as he looked to the sky. "Thanks for remebering what it's like to care."

"Thanks for remembering what it's like to be grateful." Roxas said, childishly poking his tongue out when Axel jabbed at his arm. "Hey, think Xion is gonna bring ice cream up with her?"

He shrugged, tilting his head back to look around the corner. "Maybe. She's late, so she better."

They sat silently, gazing at the sun in it's final moments. Axel's hand began trembling at one point, and he chewed at his lip almost painfully until Roxas put his hand over Axel's. Axel turned his over, interlocking their fingers.

The sun was gone by the time Xion arrived, bringing ice cream and hurried apologies as she sat down beside Roxas. If she saw their joined hands, she said nothing, but smiled, and watched Axel bite into his ice cream without remorse.

"I hope nothing exciting happened while I was gone."

"Nah, not really. Just Roxas having a fit."

"Axel!"

"Why? What happened?" 

"Secret."

"What? What's that about, come on!"

"Gotta protect Roxas' dignity."

"Why, cause you've got none of your own?"

"Come here, punk!"

"Guys, be careful."

Their laughter floated up into the stars, and echoed around the Castle when Saïx reprimanded them for coming in so late.

Saïx and Axel shared a harsh look, but Roxas pulled him away, muttering about limiting the amount of cigarette packs Axel could keep in his room.

Maybe things weren't okay yet, but they would be. And that was all that mattered. 

**Author's Note:**

> and then xion vanishes and Roxas defects and axel loses all his friends and relapses into a worse chainsmoker than my mother
> 
> im not happy with this tbh but it's 3am and this is my third try
> 
> i get super angry about axel if u want to join me hmu on tumblr @ bisexualchocolate


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